rant
so im here layin in bed typin away at 11:30 at night. I basically start a new life tommorow. I start my job with Intuit. Im quite the nerbous cow about these things because this could seriously set me up for life. and if i do good here, thers no tellin what it may set me up for in the future. my first 'real' job. my own office. my own puter, printer, fax, big comfy leather chair. good money. lots of perks. MAD PERKS. i feel out of place. I dont belong there. that is someone elses job. someone else deserves that position. not me. no, not that i dont deserve it, just that i dont belong there. just like dont belong here, in my their bed. ive always been under someones microscope of scrutiny and under big brothers thumbnail.i hate being dependent on others, yet i know in my heart of hearts (hah!) that i will fail without them and thier charity. I hate being a charitycase. I've let myself become one, because im not full of foolish pride. i know when to step back and look at things as what they are. or maybe thats juxt my problem maybe i dont look at things the way i should enough? maybe im wtong. as usual. wrong. but why should big brother tell me whats is right based on thier moral system and family values ethics bullshit. i fear being a hypocrite, but i dont go out of my way to not become one. i know i wont ever become one, (one of what is the problem?) but, what will i become (that is if i become anything) i am the king of many crowns, the jack of all trades, the do-it-yourselfer m because if i dont get it done nobody is gonna do it for me. and why should they? what makes me any better of a man (or woman for that matter) then joe blow on the corner tryin to make a buck for a bottle of water. a bottle of water cosxttsa a buck? where the fuck are the days when bottled water was unheard of, every mother fucker drank outt the tap. from the fawcet. im a tap water kid. are you? (no, ou arent daddy bought you that expensive awuafina shit and paid that dirty man 10 bucks a pop so that you could ridce the pony at the fair didnt he?) I bet you drive a luxus. i bet you would rather die then take public transit. guess what. public transit is my life you whore, i like it that way. i like having to wait 20 minutes in the hot sun to transef onto another bust just so i can get on and have the driver tell me that my tranfer needs a 50 cent upgrade. (;looks like i wont be getting hta tbottle of water today huh)) i bet your jother sa arround the house when she was pregnant and watches general hospital and obsessed over wheater or not she ws going to have joswe and maria (the hired help of course) paint the nurserrry in chartruse, or teal. they were the seasons most popular colors you know. my mother was workign at the jiffy lube until oone week of her due date. she worked evenings at the am pm. I was born in the back seat of a taxi, i bet you had one of the ose state of the art sonogram shit and that fancy hospital shit wher eyou naturally give birth to your child under water. i bet thats why your fucked and selll beachfront condos to 97 year old ladies who dont know what the hell you re atelling them. tell me how do you sleep at night knowing that you just fucked that old woman out of her retirement like your mom fucked that carnival man bein daddys back. cheap thrill quick looks. my side of the track was rougher then yours. you didnt have a side. (or was that me?) in the end it dosent really fuck me harder in the ass at all. were all bent over, waiting in line for our turn.
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older isn't always wiser - Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2006
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I'm maried!!! - Monday, Sept. 19, 2005
Next week I'll be a wife - Monday, Sept. 05, 2005
