white trash punk kid
"She spends her days up in the north park. Watching the people as they pass. And all she wants is just a little piece of this dream, is that too much to ask? With a safe home, and a warm bed, on a
quiet little street.All she wants is just that something to hold onto. That’s all she needs." Three Doors Down - Be Like That
When you wake up in the morning. Do you feel like a failure? Everyday I wake up, and everyday, I feel that way.
And, when I go to bed at night, I sometimes want, more then anything else, to walk into a better persons shoes. A better life. A better me.
Tonight, It struck me pretty hard. My failure. My life. Me.
I worked 1/2 hr over today. Jacob picked me up from work. And, tonight, was supposed to be the night, that I went back to staying at my place. (I've been staying at Jacob's [parents] place for 2 weeks cause my land lord is a pervert...) But, when I got into the car. Jacob started talking to me.
He says, 'You know, my parents were talking to me before they went out to dinner. And, I told my Dad you were planning on spending the night at your place, and, My Mom and Dad both want you to stay here, till Oct. at the house.'
So, I get to the house, make Jacob and I some dinner. Jacobs parents come home, put away groceries, and a few hours later, Don (jacob's Dad) and I were sitting in the living room. And he says to me something along the lines of 'Stelle and I were talking, and, we would really like it if you could stay here, till Oct. And, Jacob would like it too I'm sure. And, I can get you a job at Intuit (they make quicken, turbo tax, etc. and Jacobs Dad is a pretty 'up there' guy) for $12/hr from Nov. to Feb. I know $12 isn't alot ($12/hr is 2xs what I'm making now....) but, since it'syour first year and all.'
I say to him 'Thank you. Is there any way I can compensate for the place to stay, or anything I can do for you? Anything?'
And, he replied. 'No, we love you, and we just want you to be safe and stay with us.'
I thanked him. And not being stubborn, I took him up on the offer.
It's 1am, I'm sitting in my room. And I can't help but sob. Just sit here, and cry.
Why am I crying? A few different reasons. But mainly, because, it hurts just to know, that, they care more about me, then my own family.
That, they are willing to help me, however they can.
And, that they are so kind. And it's weird, cos, i'm like, this poor almost white trashish punk rock kid from a farm town, thrown into a metropolis, and I hook up with this straight kid (never drank, smoke, drugs, blah blah blah) who grew up in the richest neighborhood in town. He has two parents that never seperated, an older brother, 3 new cars, a pool, season tickets to the baseball games (of course, they are good seats), they are going on a cruise for a month arround the world. Fuck.They are fucking so wealthy. I'm nowehre near what they are.I'm not 'their kind.'
Tommorow, we are going to the baseball game, then to a movie premiere, then to a party. On Friday, we are going to a big family get together (extended family is comming down from LA). Saturday, I work, but afterwards, I have to go to this semi-formal family dinner/reception. And, on Sunday, is a family BBQ at the beach with, steak. Of course.
<--Was * Is-->
Visit Jacob and Shannon's wedding page
Last 5:
- - Tuesday, Jan. 24, 2006
- - Sunday, Dec. 04, 2005
I'm maried!!! - Monday, Sept. 19, 2005
Next week I'll be a wife - Monday, Sept. 05, 2005
my bridal shower is today... - Saturday, Aug. 27, 2005
