Suzie (is) suck(ing)s?
First off and most importantly, I don't think I should even have this posted online. For the simple fact of the pain I am feeling now. But, this is also a place for ME to say what I am feeling w/o fear of judgement or anything else. THIS IS MY DIARY. MY thoughts go into here. MY experiences. MY pain. MY emotions. So, because I am sharing this, I will tell you that I am very fragile and hurt right now. Second off. I REFUSE to use names in this, because I respect these people more then that. When/If they read this, they will know who they are. *WARNING* Things start getting emotional for me here:
After I saw Suzie crying tonight, I asked her one more time if everything was ok. She said she just needed a good cry. I didn't believe her, and knew she was having a hard time with her new "boyfriend" lately. So when I got home. I broke into suzies email (shutup). I found a letter she sent out not too long after I left. It reads [modifications have been made to protect all partys involved]:
Dear Alex ...I know how you must feel.....i think that you are a great person...bvut i am not sure what you want from me other that sex...i do have a lot more responsibility that i think you realize.....i am having a lot of trouble with my family and things aren't doing so well...and i am not sure where i am headed and i really have a difficult time when my life is at a stand still and i start to get depressed....Sometimes things are more overwhelming than i can handle....Your life is your own...mine isn't....I know that you are putting in long hours... but please don't judge me until you have walked in my shoes for a day....i don't do that....we really do live qiute a ways apart and it is a long drive for me....I did tell you a that i don't date younger guys but i was willing to meet you because you really sound like a great person which you are....you are a real sweetie... I guess that i just don't want you to feel that i used you since i will be going to college in the fall. i am not even sure about that anymore.....maybe i like you and that has got me thinking...i hope that you understand and a dissapointment is something neither of us need at this point now do we?... I am sorry that you feel that i only call you when i have nothing else to do....i don't..... I will try and see if we can get together on thursday and "talk".....Suzie
So the deal is this. Seems to me, and from knowing previous experiences of Suzie, that she is just sleeping with Alex for some unforsaken reason. She has a boyfriend, and now she is sleeping with this guy. Alex is very new to town and is very well off finanically. I know Suzie is in a bit of a bind becuase she is going to school this fall, and her rents cant pay for any of it. I am just hoping that she isn't out there trying to hustle a $ outta Alex in exchange for a good time. I am very good friends with Suzie and I have confronted her about this before with the response of "you think i am that kind of person? anyways, its my life!
Elevator of life has hit the ground floor once again.
~Shannon~
waiting to go up.....
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