gffdh
"See, to live, is to suffer; but to survive, well, thats to find meaning in the suffering." -DMX
I know it's been a long time since I updated, but things here haven't been easy lately. Matter of fact, they have been hard. Real hard. As many of you probablly know by now, my mother and I had a great relationship at one point. Yes, at one point she was my best friend. But, for the past 3 months, my Mother has become very selfish.
So cutting to the chase, I turned 18 this week. My Mom has basically written me off and thrown me out of the house.
I'm not out yet, but all the signs are there. Soooo last night my Mom was telling me how awful of a kid I am
(since I go out everynight of the week, dont come home 98% of the time, and get drunk and sleep with everyone and I'm addicted to herion and I have 2 babies and one on the way and I smoke, and I dropped out of highschool to be a hair stylist.....and if you believe any of this, then you obivously don't know me) and I didn't even fight with her, since, well it wasn't worth it, everyone knows Moms are always right even if they are wrong.
So she hit me.
This is the 1st time I've been hit since my Dad. I freaked. I knew at this point that I really can't stand to live here anymore. So at this point, I get an unexpected call from my "big brother" (a reallllllly close older guy friend that is well, my brother) he calls and he calmed me down. I explained the situation to him and he said that if need be, I can live with him. I can't afford to live out here on my own and Jacob won't be ready until the begining of March.
Tough it out another month you say? I've been toughing it out for 3 months. I'm going to crack if I stay anymore. So I am provided with options. I never said they were good options, but they are options none-the-less.
1) Fly back to Pennsylvania for a month. Jen told me whenever I wanna come out, just let her know and she'll hook me up with the plane tix. My "big brother" said I can live with him a while so that covers that. The only big shit thing of this whole deal is, if I can't go to school, then well, the gov't won't send me a check each month. (yes, the gov't pays me to go to high school) So, this means I'll be going to Monessen HS. BLAH ASS. In all honesty, I'd rather go back to BHS. Can you imagine the look on the people's faces when I stroll through the doors to register. Ahhh. Life is good. And, AND since I'll be comming in like, 1/2 way through the year, I WON'T have to do a graduation project b/c it will be too late for me to do it. *SCORE* So that owns. I'd go back at the begining of March to move in with Jacob, cause we would be financially ready by then. The only problem with this is that I'd have to live in the school district, OR have an address there and find a way to school everyday. *NOTE* I realllllllllly want this one to happen.
2)Move out early here and struggle. I really can't afford to do this. This is like, not even really an option of mine. b/c I won't be able to make rent, buy grocerys, pay bills, AND go to school all at the same time.
So that's the deal. Last night I left my house and Jacob picked me up someplace. I cought the 1st bus I could find and just stayed on it and cried. Jacob
<--Was * Is-->
Visit Jacob and Shannon's wedding page
Last 5:
- - Tuesday, Jan. 24, 2006
- - Sunday, Dec. 04, 2005
I'm maried!!! - Monday, Sept. 19, 2005
Next week I'll be a wife - Monday, Sept. 05, 2005
my bridal shower is today... - Saturday, Aug. 27, 2005
